My childhood was nestled in a family of elder siblings who were my father’s single brother and sisters born between 1894 and 1912. These are the people who sat at my dinner table most nights of my life. My father was the youngest of seven children. His brother’s including my Uncle John, who was at the dinner table every night, all served in WWI and survived their trip to France and back home. This was the generation of most of my friend’s grandparents, but they were my parents, aunts, and uncles. They were the people whose stories I heard, whose advice was given, and whose eyes perceived what was best for my life and those of my siblings. I was the youngest of four, so I had my own set of older siblings, like my father, who also thought they were my bosses and influencers. I loved them all, but some days they were a little much all at once. I learned quickly when to speak, when to listen and when to get lost in my own thoughts and pay little attention to their dissection of history, life, and world events. Now that I am older than they were in my earliest recollections, I better understand them and my childhood. I knew that our life was molded by the fact that they survived two World Wars, the” Great Depression,” the Korean Conflict, and so much more. The “waste not, want not” theory that was instilled in me since birth is a direct reflection of what they not only survive all of life’s challenges, but by coming together, they built a good life for our entire family. They had a bond like few people I know.
One topic that always received a lot of attention was fashion and trends. My aunts were born in the very early 1900s. The 1920s were their teen and young adult years full of changes in fashion and trends. They all sewed and were interested in being stylish and popular at any given time. It wasn’t that they liked all of them or participated in all of them, but they were clearly intrigued by the new trends. I can’t remember the many times I heard, “history and styles always repeat themselves.” Sometimes it felt like they were raining on my parade or telling me it was too trendy to spend money or time on or that my idea was not original. However, they all sewed things for me that they would never have bought in a store. Some of the things that they commented on were the length of skirts. They were huge proponents of the “hemline theory,” which holds that skirt lengths and stock market directions are correlated, short skirts are symbolic of bullish markets, and long skirts are of bearish markets. As often as I heard it, I never stopped pondering its validity. They had lived through those transitions, and now I have lived long enough to see micro-mini skirts and maxi skirts, and as much as I can’t believe it, I must adhere to their hemline theories. Then there were the fabric discussions that included colors, prints, plaids, material, necklines, zippers versus buttons or pull-on; the list could go on and on. As a young person, I never understood why they were more adventurous about colors and patterns. My aunts had boxes of saved exquisite fabrics that they bought on sale and had saved for that sewing project that so many years later, I was the benefactor of their keen eyes for something extraordinary. Now I realize had I lived in flapper days, my style and fashion would have been differently influenced. When my children came home with fashion trends that I didn’t particularly find attractive, I try to remember those times, and now I do the same with my grandchildren.
Speaking of Grandchildren and trends of the day, guess what; “The more things change, the more they stay the same.” Sometimes I am shocked when I get a wish list, and it contains items that remind me of the 70s or 80, colors, and styles. Today I was watching early morning television and saw a young man speaking wearing glasses very similar to what my brother wore in 1964. Now I see colors and trends in new homes and rehabs that are reminiscent of the 70s, 80s, 90s. They are presented like it’s a “New Idea.” Now I realize how my family must have felt when I acted like I invented school, dating, sex, marriages, and careers. Not literally, of course, because we didn’t discuss sex and very little about marriage since most of the people in my house had never been married; however, they seemed to be more enlightened about marriage than the two people who were, my parents. This was a major source of humor for me all my life, and still remembering the conversations makes me smile and laugh.
We had what I refer to as “Round Table Chats,” they resembled fireside chats in the respect that when they spoke, we all listened. They were held at our round dining room table that accommodated the entire family and guests. They happened almost every night that family had time to linger over dessert and coffee and always, without fail on Sunday afternoon, post our traditional large Sunday dinner and before it broke into a dominos, card, or board game. The games usually did not cancel out the conversations; they often continued but were more sporadic. I was amused at how they would try to trace back a memory, and they all chimed in on their recollection. It reminded me of playing “telephone” as a child where everyone heard something a bit different. Now I realize that everyone had their own perception of every event, their life, other’s lives, memories, current events, everything on earth had a different slant if seen by different eyes. They were all real for that person. The interesting thing about perception is that your perception is not another person’s reality; however, your perception of yourself does create your reality. My siblings and I teased my oldest sister and referred to her as the Rockefeller branch of the family tree because her perception of life was far grander than the rest of ours, or at least that was our perception of her. Now, years after she has passed, and I reflect on her entire life, I realized she wanted to see the best in life, others, and wanted the best for everyone who touched her life. She also had to believe she could do anything, and she did! Her perception made her who she was, and I loved every ounce of her. At an earlier age, I decided what my family was didn’t particularly define who I was or would become and did my best to bring clarity to my perception. Not because I read about it in a book, but I discovered perception by listening to my family’s stories told from their perspective. Of course, now I know we can’t help but be influenced by our families and their stories, but we can choose not to be victimized by it or remain stuck, affecting our future. Nevertheless, we share DNA and environments, and all of that is part of who we are and become; however, our perception of ourselves is the major influencer of what we want to do with the picture we see of ourselves.
Every generation believes they are unique from any other generation. I remember feeling smarter and so much more progressive than my older counterparts. Now I try to remember that my children, grandchildren, and younger counterparts most likely feel the same about me. As I reflect on these things, I realize this pertains to everything, even farming.
There are many old ways that farmers believe in and continue to practice. When technology was introduced to farming, it must have been challenging for many who had done just fine with their traditional techniques like they had used all their lives and, in some cases, the generation before them. In fact, when it is looked at more deeply, there are always small changes that may or may not improve productivity. Not being an expert in farming technology, I can safely say that the improvements in technology that our generation has witnessed have greatly increased productivity and time efficiency. It isn’t that things are a great deal different now… ground needs to be prepared, seeds need to be planted, crops need to be protected and fertilized, and harvested at just the right time; however, the way they are performed has changed enormously in my lifetime. It has always been this way for the generation after us, and technology is a way of life for them in all aspects of their lives.
Bending with the future is not always a comfortable position but necessary if you don’t want to be stuck in the ice age. Being progressive helps us to stay relevant. It is good for our brain, and so many things have been created to make it easier to keep doing the things we love as we age. Getting older is inevitable, and so is change; therefore, it is a better use of our time and days to roll with the changes, learn what ones improve our quality of life and which ones to simply breathe through until it passes without using a lot of energy to fight the change.
Remembering that our generation also didn’t invent the phrase, “as much as things change, they remain the same,” I hope that we all can work on remembering what our elders went through to get us to where we are today, regardless of our perceptions of it being good or bad, and respecting the younger generations for their ingenuity, creativeness, and excitement for discovering their own paths and truths.
I believe that documenting life stories is important for our self-reflection and to give younger generations a peek into our past experiences that influenced who we became and who we are today. Taking the time to reflect is something the farm and sharing stories with Randy allows me to do. I invite you to take time in your corner of this amazing universe to reflect on your life’s stories and your perceptions. Join me in making room for and validating everyone’s perceptions while recognizing their perception is real to them. We can also change our reality when we recognize we need to alter or correct our perceptions.
Change is inevitable, especially as we age; it requires us to navigate through so many changes in every aspect of our lives. Please join me in celebrating the benefits of our changes and breathing through our challenges while remembering as much as things change, things remain the same.
Now you know why
I Love the Farm
And
I Love You, Randy
CITY LIFE 2 FARMERS WIFE 